his is the real test isn't it.  We can appear so evolved when we are in charge and being loved and appreciated or when others are doing what we want.

This is our "work."  This is the "real telling."
 

Recognizing...
When I have defended, attacked, judged, manipulated or think that I know what is best for someone, I find it crucial to admit what I have been doing to them.  (Sometimes I find it helpful to admit my mistakes to a neutral friend first.)

Listening...
All of his can feel VERY DANGEROUS to the ego.  The person we have wronged may be deeply hurt and want to attack back.  This is where we have ANOTHER opportunity to stand in our hearts and hear their feelings and work towards more healing.  

Practice and More Practice...
I have found this to be a PRACTICE.  I don't necessarily always do it well (without getting defended again).

Do it, and find the sacred gifts that it offers.    

Remember to work with intentions and prayers